How to Tell a Classmate to Stop Calling You a Nickname

If a classmate uses a nickname you don’t want, say what you want them to call you. Try “Please call me Aisha. I don’t want to be called that nickname.” You can say it briefly in the moment or ask privately if you’d rather keep the conversation out of the group.

If they keep using it after you ask, tell a teacher or another trusted adult what happened and when. Explain what name you want used and what you need at the next lesson or activity. If the nickname is used to mock, threaten or target you, you can ask an adult for help straight away.

• Give the name you want people to use.
• Choose a short public correction or a private conversation.
• Correct a group label or introduction through the person who controls it.
• Ask for help if the behaviour keeps happening.
• Give the adult a specific example and agree how to follow up.

• Decide what you want people to call you
• Find a sentence you can use
• Respond to repeated use
• Practise common school situations
• Read the frequently asked questions

Chapters 1–3

• 1. Decide what name you want to hear in that setting
• 2. What to say when someone uses the nickname
• 3. Change a name in a label, slide or group routine

Chapters 4–6

• 4. What to say if the person keeps using it
• 5. Ask a teacher or caregiver to help with the next school day
• 6. How to respond when someone corrects the name you used

Chapters 7–9

• 7. Worked examples from class, a presentation and an online group
• 8. Prepare a short request and a follow-up
• 9. Frequently asked questions and a sentence for today

You may have a nickname you like from one person and prefer not to hear from other classmates. You may have used a nickname before and changed your mind. You may want someone to use your name as it appears in class, or to say it correctly. Decide which change you want to request. A person can act on “Please call me Aisha in class” more easily than “Stop making it awkward.”

Think about where the name appears. Someone might call you it during recess, write it on a slide or use it as a label in a group chat. You can ask the person to change what they say and ask whoever controls the label to change what appears there. If the name has spread, a teacher can help make the class expectation clear without asking you to correct every person separately.

Notice how much explanation you want to give

You can ask for your name without explaining your personal history. “I prefer Jia” is a complete request. If there is a pronunciation you want to share, you can say it once and give people a chance to repeat it. If the nickname refers to something private, you can say you do not want it used and leave the detail for a trusted adult if you need help.

If you want to explain why the change matters, choose the part that helps the other person understand what to do. “That name is used by my family. I want to use this one at school.” Or, “I used to go along with it. I’d like you to use my name now.” Give enough information to make the change clear. You do not have to defend it in front of the class.

Decide whether to speak directly

An ordinary mistake may be settled with a quick correction. A friend who thought you liked a nickname may change it once you tell them. If you feel uncomfortable or the name is being used to target you, you can speak to a trusted adult first. Consider the place, the people involved and what you want to happen in the next lesson. Choose a way to ask that lets you stay comfortable enough to speak.

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Start with the name you want them to use. “Please call me Mei.” If you think they may not know which name you mean, add “I don’t want to be called the nickname you used just now.” Say it once and give them time to answer. If they correct themselves, continue with the activity. A short response can keep an ordinary mistake small.

If you prefer to speak privately, ask for a moment after class. “Could I tell you something about what you call me? I’d like you to use my name in class.” If you want it to apply everywhere, say so. If you are comfortable with a nickname in one setting, explain where you want it to stop. A precise request is easier to remember.

If the person is a friend

“I know you’ve called me that for a while. I’d like you to stop and use my name.” You can tell them you have changed your mind. If they say they thought you liked it, acknowledge that they may have understood it differently. Then give the current request. “I’m telling you now that I want you to use Aisha.”

If someone pronounces your name differently

Say the name once and give them a chance to try it. “It’s pronounced ___.” If the same mistake repeats, you can remind them. If they say it is too hard and choose a nickname without asking, tell them which name you want used. Ask the teacher for help if the problem keeps coming up in class or during introductions.

If several people use it

Give a short correction to the people who need it. “Please use my name, Rui.” If the group is working, ask the person leading it to use the right name when assigning roles. If it is difficult to correct everyone, ask a teacher to help. You can explain the preference privately and ask how to change the group’s routine.

If you want to write a message

“Hi Ben. Could you stop using the nickname from our group chat and call me Jia? I’d like the same name used on the slides and in class. Thanks.” This tells the person what to change in both places. Use an appropriate channel. If the messages are hurtful or you are worried about a reaction, get help from a trusted adult before contacting the person.

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If the nickname appears in a shared file, find out who can edit the label. Ask them to use the name you want. “Could you change my label on slide two to Hana?” gives them a specific action. If the teacher controls the file, ask them privately. A written label can keep a nickname circulating even after someone stops saying it aloud.

If a classmate is introducing speakers, tell them which name to use before the presentation. You can also say how to pronounce it. Practise the handoff once if that helps. The classmate can read the name correctly when the audience is there. If they forget, correct it briefly and continue if you are comfortable.

If the nickname appears in an informal group chat

Ask the organiser or the person who wrote it to change the label if you can do so comfortably. Keep the request short. If the label is being used to target you or people keep restoring it, tell a trusted adult. Ask how to share the relevant information privately. Avoid forwarding hurtful content around the class.

If the group chat is used for schoolwork, make sure you know where to get important instructions. You can ask the teacher to explain the school’s preferred channel. A problem with a label and a need for access to schoolwork are two things the school can help address.

If the label is on a school system

Ask the relevant school adult which names the system can display and which record must follow formal requirements. Tell them the name you want used in everyday class settings. The options may differ between an official record and a group document. You can ask for a practical change where the school can make one.

If someone else wrote the name on a group submission

Ask whether the group can correct it before submitting. If the work has already been submitted, ask the teacher whether a correction is needed and who should make it. Use the official route rather than quietly replacing a submitted file. Tell the teacher which label needs checking and where it appears.

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If a classmate uses the nickname again, repeat the request briefly. “I’ve asked you to call me Mei.” If it feels appropriate, ask whether they forgot or misunderstood what you meant. A person who made a mistake can correct it. A person who continues deliberately may need a different response.

If the repeated use affects a task, give the classmate a practical change. “Please use Mei when you introduce me for the presentation.” If they say it is just a joke, reply with what you want. “I’m asking you to stop using it.” You do not have to argue about whether it was funny. If the behaviour continues, ask a teacher or trusted adult for help.

When people tell you to take a joke

You can say, “I don’t like being called that. Use my name, please.” If the group moves on and the nickname stops, you can continue with the activity. If people keep repeating it for a reaction, leave the conversation if you can do so safely and speak to a trusted adult. Give the adult the specific words and setting if you are comfortable doing that privately.

When a friend says everyone uses it

Tell the friend how you want them to act. “I’m asking you to use my name even if someone else uses the nickname.” They can change their own behaviour without waiting for the whole group. If they are willing to help, ask whether they can model the name or remind the group where appropriate. Give them room to choose what they are comfortable doing.

When it is used repeatedly to humiliate you

Tell a trusted adult what has happened and what you need now. “They’ve been calling me this in class and the corridor. I asked them to stop on Tuesday and it happened again today. I’m worried about the next group activity.” That gives the adult a pattern and a place to help. If you feel unsafe, ask for support promptly.

If the first adult you tell does not understand the concern, tell another trusted adult or follow your school’s reporting process. Give the new example or explain what continued. Ask what to do at the next lesson and where you can speak privately. You can get help before deciding whether to speak directly to the classmate again.

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Choose someone you can speak to privately. It may be your form teacher, a subject teacher, a caregiver or a school counsellor. Tell them the name you want used, where the nickname appears and whether it has continued after a request. Ask what they can do before the next lesson or activity. A specific plan can help you take part while the wider concern is addressed.

You can start with “Could I speak privately about what students are calling me? I want them to use my name. I’ve asked them to stop, but it happened again during our group task.” If you do not want to repeat the word aloud, ask if you can write it down. A trusted adult can help you decide which details are needed.

Ask how the adult will handle the information

You may want to know whether the teacher will speak to the class, talk to the students involved or help change a written label. Ask what they can share and how you will know what happens next. If you are worried that speaking up will make things worse, say so. The adult can take that concern into account when deciding how to help.

Keep the practical request visible

You may need the name changed in a group file, a correct introduction before an event or someone to help if it happens in the corridor again. Write the next setting and ask what support is available. If the school changes a document but the spoken behaviour continues, tell the adult about the new incident. The two parts can need different actions.

For a parent who wants to help

Ask your child what name they want used and which part is most difficult. Help them practise a short sentence or speak with the school if the issue is repeated or concerning. Use a private channel and give the school an example. Tell the child what you are sharing where appropriate and ask how they would like to be supported in the next activity.

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Use the name they give you. “Thanks, Aisha” is enough for an ordinary correction. If you have been using a nickname they do not want, acknowledge it and change the habit. You can say “I’ll use your name from now on” and do that in the next conversation. A long explanation can make them repeat a request they already made.

If you are unsure how to say the name, ask once and practise it. Let the person tell you if they want further help. Avoid assigning a shorter version without asking. In a group, use the name they requested when speaking about their task or introducing their part. That gives others a correct example without turning the name into a public issue.

If you notice another person making the mistake

Where appropriate, give a short correction and return to the task. “They use Hana. Hana is presenting the result next.” If the person prefers to speak for themselves, give them room to do that. If the nickname is part of repeated hurtful behaviour, ask a trusted adult for help rather than inviting a group argument. Give the adult the information you actually saw or heard.

If you are organising a class activity

Check names before printing a list or preparing slides. Ask students what they want used for ordinary introductions and follow school requirements for formal records. If you make an error, correct the version people will actually see. A small check can prevent a nickname from being repeated by people who thought it was approved.

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A friend thought the nickname was still welcome

Rui has been called the same nickname since primary school. He liked it for a while and now wants his classmates to use his name. He tells one friend privately before the next lesson. “I know you’ve always called me that. I’d like you to use Rui now.” The friend forgets once and corrects themselves. Rui can remind them briefly and continue the conversation.

A presentation slide uses a name the student did not choose

Hana sees a nickname beside her part of a project. She asks the person editing the slides to replace it with Hana and asks the group to use that name in the spoken introduction. The group changes the slide and practises the handoff. If the editor had refused, she could have asked the teacher to help with the class submission.

A name keeps appearing in an online group

A student asks for an informal label to be changed. It is removed and then put back several times with hurtful comments. The student tells a trusted adult what happened and asks how to show the relevant information privately. They also ask where to get school updates while the problem is addressed. The adult can help decide what should be reported and what support is needed at school.

A classmate mispronounces a name during discussion

Jia hears her name said incorrectly and corrects it once. “It’s pronounced this way.” The classmate repeats it and continues the task. If the classmate later makes fun of the pronunciation, that is a new concern Jia can tell the teacher about. An ordinary correction and a pattern of targeting call for different responses.

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Write the name you want used and where you want it used. Then write the first sentence. “Please call me ___ in class.” If a particular label needs changing, add that separately. “Could you also change the label on the project slide?” You can say the lines to a parent or trusted friend if it helps you prepare.

Choose one reply for a likely response. If the person says they forgot, try “That’s okay. Please use ___ now.” If they say everyone calls you the nickname, try “I’m asking you to use my name.” If the situation feels unsafe or the person keeps doing it, identify the adult you can tell. Write where you can speak privately and what you want to happen next.

Check what changed after the next activity

Did they use the requested name? Did the label change? Are other people still repeating it? The answer tells you whether a short reminder is enough or whether you need adult help. If someone has made the change, you can continue using your name as usual. If the behaviour continues, tell the adult which part remains.

Keep the discussion as private as the situation allows

If the nickname has a personal meaning, decide who needs to know it. You may only need to tell a teacher that it is unwelcome and describe where it is used. If the adult needs more detail to help, ask how the information will be handled. A clear request for support can protect your privacy while giving the school what it needs to act.

A name follows you from an old class into a new one

A student moves to a new group and finds that one old friend introduces them with the nickname they used in primary school. The student asks the friend privately to use their name in the new group. They say, “I know that’s what people used to call me. I’d like you to introduce me as Kai here.” The friend can correct the name the next time they introduce someone. If they already introduced Kai to a few people, Kai can ask them to use the right name during the next activity.

Kai can also introduce himself directly. “Hi, I’m Kai.” If a classmate uses the other name, he can say “I go by Kai here.” A short correction gives the new class a clear example. If the old friend keeps repeating the nickname on purpose, Kai can ask a teacher for help. He can explain that one student has continued after a clear request and say which setting is most affected.

If you are starting a new class, choose which introduction you want people to hear. You may want to tell the teacher privately before they read a list or ask classmates to form groups. A teacher can explain what they use for formal records and help establish an everyday way of addressing you. You can ask what information needs to be shared and how the teacher will handle it.

A friendly nickname has become uncomfortable in public

Hana and a close friend used a nickname privately. The friend starts using it during class discussions. Hana says she would like her own name used in class. She does not need to decide whether the friend can ever use the nickname again. She can give a boundary that fits the setting. “Please use Hana at school, including on our project.” The friend asks whether Hana is upset with them. Hana says she wants to change the way the name is used.

If Hana later wants to stop the nickname everywhere, she can say that too. A boundary can change when the situation changes. Explain what applies now and where the person needs to use it. If a friend continues to treat an earlier agreement as permission, repeat the current request and ask for support if needed.

This example also works when an old joke becomes a label. You can say which part you want to stop. If you want to discuss how it started, choose a private time. If the immediate need is for the name to be removed from a slide, ask for that first. You can handle the label and the friendship conversation separately.

A classmate says the name is too hard to say

A student corrects their name and offers a pronunciation. The classmate says they will use a shortened version because it is easier. The student replies, “Please use the name I gave you. I can say it again if you’d like.” If the classmate makes a good-faith effort and gets it slightly wrong, the student can correct the part that matters. If the classmate uses the difficulty as an excuse to mock the name, the student can ask the teacher for help.

If you want to explain pronunciation, choose a method that feels natural. You could say it slowly once, break it into parts or write a cue the person can use. You can also ask the teacher to check privately before an introduction. You decide how much help you want to offer. A person can learn to say a name without asking for a personal explanation of it.

A teacher who wants to help can ask how the student would like to be addressed before presenting them to a group. If the teacher makes a mistake, they can correct it and continue. The same practice gives classmates a model for ordinary correction. It avoids turning the person’s name into the main topic of the activity.

A label keeps being copied from one place to another

The group updates a slide, but the old nickname remains in the speaking notes and on a list used by the person introducing presenters. Ask which version the group will actually use. “The slide is fixed. Could we check the speaker list too?” gives the group a small final task. If the name has appeared in a submitted file, ask the teacher what can be corrected through the school’s process.

You can ask one person to confirm the change if the group has a clear editor. Give them the exact wording and the locations you know about. If a label appears in a place you cannot change, tell the teacher or responsible organiser. You do not need to search every private chat for copies. Focus on the version that is being used for the activity and the behaviour that is still happening.

If a person keeps putting the label back after it is corrected, tell an adult when and where it happened. Ask how to handle the record and what will happen before the next lesson. A version mistake and repeated deliberate changes need different responses. Give the adult the detail that helps them understand which one you are seeing.

A friend wants to help after hearing the nickname

A friend can ask, “Would you like me to correct it when I hear it?” You can say yes, ask them to tell the teacher privately or say you prefer to handle it. If they agree to help, give them the name to use and the setting where it matters. They can correct an introduction briefly and return to the work. They do not have to explain why you asked.

If the situation involves repeated targeting, your friend can tell an adult what they saw or heard. They can go with you if you want company. Let the adult decide what action is needed. Avoid encouraging friends to repeat the nickname in a group chat to demonstrate what happened. Give the adult the example privately if it is relevant.

Make the next school day easier to plan

Choose the first place you expect to hear the name again. It may be a class discussion, a rehearsal or a chat about a project. Decide whether you will correct it, ask an organiser to change a label or speak to a teacher first. Write the name you want used and one short sentence. If you are worried about the response, make a plan with a trusted adult before the activity.

Afterwards, tell the adult whether the change happened. If it worked during introductions and continued in the corridor, say that. If one group member stopped and others still use it, say which part remains. The practical result matters. A teacher can adjust the support when they know where the problem is still occurring.

Decide what follow-up you want from the adult

Ask when you can check in and whom you should tell if the nickname returns. You may want the teacher to use your name consistently, change a label or address the way classmates are treating you. A check-in can be short. “The slide now uses my name, and I still hear the nickname at recess.” This tells the teacher which part of the plan worked and which setting still needs support.

If the concern involves a threat or you feel unsafe, make that clear rather than waiting for an ordinary review. If the issue was a genuine mistake and has stopped, you can tell the adult what helped. In both cases you have a way to report what actually happened.

If you keep hearing an old name after people have agreed to change it

Notice whether the person corrects themselves or continues after you remind them. You can respond to an ordinary slip with a quick correction. If the person uses the nickname to get a reaction or encourages others to use it, ask an adult to help address the behaviour. Give the adult a recent example and say what you need for the next activity.

If several people have only seen an old label, ask the organiser to use the corrected version where everyone can find it. A new list or introduction can help people learn the right name. If there is still a problem after the label changes, tell the adult what you heard and where.

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Is it rude to ask someone to stop calling me a nickname?

You can give the name you want used in a short, direct sentence. “Please call me Aisha” is enough. If you prefer to say it privately, ask for a moment after the activity.

What if I used to like the nickname?

Say you have changed your mind and give the name you want now. A friend may need a reminder if it was a habit. If they keep using it after you have made the request clear, ask a trusted adult for help where appropriate.

What if a whole class calls me that?

Ask a teacher to help establish the name you want used. Give an example of where the nickname appears and what you want to change. You can explain it privately. Ask the teacher what they will do in the next lesson or group activity.

What if they say it is only a joke?

Repeat the practical request. “Please use my name.” If they continue, tell a trusted adult what happened. If the nickname is used to threaten or repeatedly target you, ask for help promptly.

What can I say now?

“Please call me ___. I’d like you to stop using that nickname.” Add the setting or label if needed. If the behaviour keeps happening, bring one example and your request to an adult you trust.

Contents · Previous chapter · Next reading

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• Peicai Secondary School’s overview of peer support
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• How to Tell Your Parents You Want to Change Subjects
• How to Tell a Friend They Hurt Your Feelings